It was a dark and stormy night….no, it wasn’t. Actually it was very early Monday a.m. My husband awakens me from a sound sleep with a hiss “someone is trying to break in the house”. I nod to let him know I heard and understand. He slides from his side of the bed and quickly slips on a pair of shorts and grabs the metal baseball bat. Equally soundless, I slip into my Ed Hardy tennis shoes (my favorite pair with the aqua and white stripes, rhinestones, geisha on one side, koi on the other). I slide open my lingerie drawer and pull out my sword.

We make our way down the hall in blackness. Sure enough, someone is rattling and kicking at our door. On the silent count of three, my husband jerks open the door and I switch on the light, my sword held high, ready to behead…