Where no man has gone before:

To be a bit more accurate, regarding poets in any case, a few such men have gone here before.

I believe, although I choose not to look for it now, I have offered up another post on this subject; as such, this is the continuation of that post; in that, this morning, Continue reading

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A few changes…

…this morning’s rain-related offering. It occurred to me that It would be quite easy, quite nice, and quite wonderful to make the final couplet:

Older she, than land they rest; her crops
Are they; if brick, or straw–so unrequited.

be a compressed version of the other three quatrains. Continue reading

So is my poetry…

…fairly grounded to the earth.  I think this must involve my science background in some way.  There is not such ambiguity as one might find in other poetry.  I think I should see what the limits of my ability to blend metaphors with concrete earthly ideas might be.  (or perhaps I should say “mix metaphors?!”)

In any event, the unfinished, yet famous “My love has wings…”/”Nightingale Woman” might be a worthy pursuit.  Since according to lore it should have been a sonnet.  Various writers have attempted to finish it while retaining, to some degree, its basic rhythm, and on the other hand, ignoring or not being able to perceive that the known lines are  indeed the first two lines of a sonnet, albeit with one syllable missing in the first line–a minor point, and not at all unusual.  In fact, sonnets appearing as early as 1600 observed pentametric rhythm without maintaining, in the strictest sense, iambic feet.  Still the five beats are heard:

My love has wings,
slender, feathered things
with grace in upswept curve
and tapered tip

These lines are often written as above, although this strikes me as a rendering to paper ones auditory impression of the lines.  But I’m no forensic expert in this matter.  For all I know, these lines might have been rendered thus in the original script (“Where no man has gone before” – Gene Roddenberry) In any case, format the lines as follows and you will see their true form begin to unfold:

My love has wings, slender, feathered things
With grace in upswept curve and tapered tip…

And due, in large part, to my reading (and writing) of many many sonnets, I would further venture that these first two lines imply an English Sonnet.  Here we have two stylistically similar lines, yet distinctly different.  The first with its internal rhyme, and missing syllable; the second with it’s five iambic feet and alliterative ending, suggest a ABAB style rhymescheme.

Sonnet: Stardate – 50419.1…

My love has wings–slender, feathered things–
With grace in upswept curve and tapered tip,
My love would soar–swiftly to adore–
So twisting ever toward, and graceful skip.

So dances she–round and round to be–
Enrapt to bring us care, to bind us kept,
My love should know–you, my love, bestow–
Your Own, as did He dance and graceful stepped.

For now as wed… They–Our Love has said–
Would bear us swiftly hence as spectral ships;
So lovely They–So lighted, Their display–
That would illuminate our Earthly trips.

And lovely see–you and I–as We…
Take flight, as when I tasted first your lips.

  • once more for Gene.

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Intro: 1996

Only natural,
That I should try this modern
Canopian form.

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Sonnet: His Nightingale Woman

My Love hath wings–slender, feathered things–
With grace in upswept curve and tapered tip.
My Love doth soar–swiftly to adore–
So twisting ever toward, and graceful skip.

So danceth She–round and round to thee–
Enrapt to bring us care, to bind us kept.
My Love doth know–thou, my love, bestow–
Thine Own, as did He dance and graceful stept.

For now as wed… They–Our Love hath said–
Would bear us hence anon as spectral ships;
So lovely They–so lighted, Their display–
T’would ere illuminate our Earthly trips.

And lovely, we–Love and I, and thee–
Take flight, as once I tasted first thy lips.

  • For Gene Roddenberry:
    And, to his memory;
    Who, in all probability,
    And, so very long ago,
    Penned the first two lines.

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Intro: Gene Roddenberry

Have now

I gone

To where

Before

No man

Hath gone

Rest thou

G R

In peace

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