Pondering how best
To rework my fifth sonnet
With internal rhymes
(feet) (syllables) 6 (5+7) 5 (6+4) 5 (5+5) 4 (8)
in the second quatrain to emphasize, without ruining, its 6-5-5-4 rhythm. Because of the amount of time spent on this, I have re-entered it here, and rededicated it to Sierra Sciences, as many of my entries, particularly in this “Shakespearean” sonnet project, deal very intimately with the subject of ageing research. Rather than lucasing the original I think these two versions should remain distinct.
I did change “Him” to “God” in both versions because there is some ambiguity who “Him,” uh… He, might be. This pronoun could well have been referent to Despair personified; although this is why I used “its” in the first quatrain and “Him” in the second. I have often referred to Him without explanation; and as such, one may generally assume I mean Him; however, I do make an exception when ambiguity might exist, or if I feel more emphasis is needed than His Pronoun would convey.