Intro: I spent quite a long time…

Pondering how best
To rework my fifth sonnet
With internal rhymes


(feet) (syllables)
  6       (5+7)
  5       (6+4)
  5       (5+5)
  4        (8)

in the second quatrain to emphasize, without ruining, its 6-5-5-4 rhythm.  Because of the amount of time spent on this, I have re-entered it here, and rededicated it to Sierra Sciences, as many of my entries, particularly in this “Shakespearean” sonnet project, deal very intimately with the subject of ageing research.  Rather than lucasing the original I think these two versions should remain distinct.

I did change “Him” to “God” in both versions because there is some ambiguity who “Him,” uh… He, might be.  This pronoun could well have been referent to Despair personified; although this is why I used “its” in the first quatrain and “Him” in the second. I have often referred to Him without explanation; and as such, one may generally assume I mean Him; however, I do make an exception when ambiguity might exist, or if I feel more emphasis is needed than His Pronoun would convey.

In any case, the final result can be found as Sonnet V of the resulting sequence.


4 responses to “Intro: I spent quite a long time…

  1. Pingback: As the D is exhausted already we go on to E: The Echo Sonnet | Phoenix's Poetry & Stories

  2. Pingback: Sonnet: (template) ((More “Etudes” comming))… | David Emeron: Sonnets

  3. Pingback: Regarding “Etudes” 11 and 12: | David Emeron: Sonnets

Insults Make Me Happy:

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s