…can be a grammatical mistake when it was not so very obvious before. I can’t tell you how many times I went over this one. Granted it is a long, long sentence, but one has only to think about it systematically to realize it was punctuated in a not quite proper way, and also, that one word needed to be changed in order for it to be grammatically correct. That particular sonnet is really one long question. As such all its concomitant clauses have to be arrayed correctly.

I really do think I have it now. This project, in general has made me a much better grammarian, as well as a better speller–although, as with many public school, whole language, victims, my spelling still leaves much to be improved upon.

…here, I began with some notes a few weeks ago:

First one word then two…..
The pressure of an eon, can it bring……

Form Creates pressure. pressure creates diamonds.
Form limits, but limits create pressure.

and pressure creates good stuff.
Particularly with sonnets:

You are forced to get a better education
simply by the act of writing them.

And next the blankverse:

At first one word then two like rivulets
That wear away a mountain. Time itself–
The pressure of an eon–it can bring
Perfection. Though it presses down. Transforms

Itself in ways of mystery. It’s form
Creates such pressure. On so commonplace
A thing as coal, transformative, creates
A diamond fine and rare. And so with words,

A form may limit, but unlimited
Can be the pressure it exerts upon
So commonplace a thing as these I write.
As such, the queen of all Poetic forms,
Wherein her pressure, educating me
And opens up my mind to all her grace.

And then, the final version, with all its rhyming structure and additional restrictions as I so enjoy.

…blank verse sonnet.  This comes from an old, vaguely triadic piece of freeverse I wrote some time last century.  (I want to point something out here:   It’s already 2012 and still no flying car.  What’s up with that?)

I don’t have all the steps preserved this time, but the original was 7 triadic verses of various line lengths–one might call it  William Carlos Williams style.   So with just the right rolling-pin, I expanded it to 14 lines of blank verse, preserving or adding content in order to keep the feet iambic.

Once that was done, I just altered things as I added the rhymes, and then just for the fun of it, added 7 more internal rhymes, which I think can sometimes add a pleasant cadence to the way it reads.  I should have saved the interim steps, but my mind had been wandering and so I didn’t save my drafts when I should have, thus more or less automatically saving the various steps.

This process didn’t really make the composition any faster, but it was more novel, and also somewhat less of a struggle, in some ways.  Easier, but not faster, I guess.  It worked well enough that I think I’ll try it again sometime soon.

Evidently I did save enough to give you an idea:

Here’s the Original:

Earthbound are my feet, although
they strive for starfields;
climb as they will a

staircase of air, the Earth
is all that they may
touch. But oh! how my

mind may soar! It takes
my feet where they may go
but not where it may fly.

An Island of dirt is all
they know. All they will
ever know. But

dirt may be kind and
beautiful, and may be built
upon and danced upon and

someday, may become a
a chariot, and take me to the
stars.

There, a much younger self had the hope that he might go forth someday.

Now here it is in blankverse:

To Earth are bound my feet although they strive
For starfields climbing as they will upon
A staircase wrought of air, but even so
The Earth is all the ether they may touch.

But let me tell a tale now of how
My mind may soar! It takes my feet where they
May go. But not where they may someday fly.
An Island small of dirt is all they know.

And all the ether they will Ever know.
But dirt may be as kind and beautiful
And may be built upon and danced upon
And rained upon and then someday it may
Become, aglow with flame, a chariot,
To take my children’s children to the stars.

Here, I relegate the stars alas to future generations.

And, of course the final version can be found here.

If I find a way to include the “final” version inline, I will do that in past and future posts of this type. I don’t like to cut and paste them in here because there’s always a bit of lucasing that will occur, and then the two “final” versions won’t match.

In any case, this should give anyone a pretty good idea. I think I’m going to try that same process with some brand new material and see how it goes.

Can be played to a tattoo march in 4/4 time.  Prum pum pum pum pum…..   Prum pum pum pum pum…..  Prum pum pum pum pum…..  More analysis and permutations to follow in a few hours…okay well, it’s been a day. (not in a coma, but close)

I couldn’t quite keep the sonnet or haiku formatting without making the rhythmic presentation confusing, therefore I have just inserted both entries into a table.

First the sonnet:

Perhaps the final couplet could be used as a cadence/chorus.

And here is the haiku in similar format:

This project brings to light another relationship between sonnets and haiku.  Two haiku can be plucked out of each couplet of a sonnet, and/or two haiku can stand in for each couplet of a sonnet padded by syllables on either side.  A couplet is 20 syllables and a haiku is 17.  It would be an interesting project to compose a sonnet. out of seven haiku, using that idea, and compose a sequence of 7 haiku from a sonnet.

Perhaps there will be a couple of sonnets and a haiku in the days to come using that method.  It sounds Like it would be fun.

I’ve recently thought that one could write a sonnet in blank verse (non-rhyming iambic pentameter) and then arrange the rhymes afterward.  That, too, would be an interesting project.  I think I’m going to do both of these, or rather, all three of these, in the near future.

…I am keeping this and this on top for the remainder of the month.

…but this one was not finished.  Extra lines jotted down, and lines with missing syllables, and missing rhymes (with nary an internal rhyme, or, more accurately a mid-line rhyme.)   Begun sometime between 1980 and 1990; copied into a notebook with the intention of finishing it, sometime around 1990.  Now, it is finally finished (except for a bit of lucasing that might occur in the next day or so.  (A week, tops!)

One never knows what one will be inspired to write; so I have heard it said.  I have a feeling there will be one or two more commemorative entries which might appear soon.  When that happens, I’ll flip them around to be successive to the other 9/11-ish entries once they are more than a day old.