But sleek, one shape as wondrously soft,
More perfect in its drape than might one think;
And such, should be perfection held aloft,
That by this, would its height so make one sink.
For perfectly it thwarts ones every thought;
So pliant-smooth it courts by its design,
That brought so every instinct as it ought;
Requires nary thought to intertwine.
More alien than truly might one guess;
As fell another species though from sky;
Alighted grace, such beauty as would bless
The altar of my sleep, this place whereby,
As master and as slave, I feel anew;
Each moment strave my every wish come true!
This sonnet is part of a short sequence; click here to read it all:
I tip my hat to you for your use of “strave”, my dear. Very chaffie, you have arrived. I couldn’t be prouder!
Now, olive teh chaff.
So perfectly formed…I’ve been getting your writing via email…your technique is flawless…this stepping rhyming (uncertain what it’s actually termed) is gorgeous. Really really enjoy all your work.
The lady is most kind!
I have written these for most of my life–the better part of a century; however not so many as now. Requiring of myself to write at least one each day has been quite a journey these last months; and, although I have always loved sonnet form–in all its varieties–I have become acquainted with it in a way not possible in the past.
The stepping rhythm, as you very accurately describe it, is formally termed “iambic,’ many English poetic terms having Grecian roots–also some in Latin. An iambic “foot”–which is why your chosen word “step” seemed so perfect–consists of an unaccented syllable followed by a strong; or, to use the more formal and venerable term, a feminine followed by a masculine. Such terms as these are artefacts of languages for which gender is a major structural element, unlike English–except in poetry : )
If you are curious about such things, my blog contains more such information, as I often write about techniques used in the various pieces I post. I endeavour–especially of late–to define any terms used, either in the text itself, or as a mouseover link. I have been considering linking to wikipedia where appropriate as well, to facilitate further study if a reader so desires, as I am very far from expert in any of these very picky matters of classification. I tend more to write than to count and sort beans; although one can hardly help picking up a term or two or three, along the way. In any case, there is bound to be an entry regarding the origin and structure of the above piece, in a day or so.
On the lighter side, I wonder about the mechanism of the email links. Because… I do tend to engage in a bit of ‘lucasing”–a term (after director George Lucas’s tendency to continually revisit and re-edit, and perhaps over-edit his work) which I may or may not have coined, or which a number of people may have coined simultaneously. In any case, I often do so revisit my work for perhaps a week or so, as I meditate on an entry… I do change a word or two, if I’m not entirely happy with the outcome. Or, as sometimes happens after a sleep period or two, a very obvious solution to a vexing problem will present itself. Therefore, do check back. I do not get obsessive with this editing, but often do I adjust the punctuation for clarity and for ease of reading. Or does the email engine send another email whenever I make a change? I’ve not investigated it.
The above, presented itself, in virtually the exact form you see here, except, as mentioned, a bit of punctuation. In fact, with this one, I have learned a number of things regarding the order of words which will make the writing of sonnets a bit easier for me in the future. And, at least in the case of sonnets I have written using more archaic English, I am very much tempted to go over some of the older ones and see when some of this newly revealed technique might be applied.
On the even lighter side, I added the above mentioned definition of the verb “to lucas,” to wikipedia, because I believe the term is so perfect in its sound and intent for the “mucking about of one’s work;” however, some grim and serious old curmudgeon must have removed it. I have not re-entered it, as I’ve no desire for a “wiki-war;” however I was tempted. Still, I’m not sure I would be able to put a sufficiently large “gang” together!
And, once again, my thanks, to the most gracious Lady Day, for her words most kind.
Oh sakes! You are a detail poet. I am only recently delving back into specific forms…and really, only if I’m inspired to do so. The art of specific form is rare, and so, I like the challenge. I have written free-verse lyrical writes for many many years…but haiku, sonnet, villanelle and no doubt more, I will be attempting in the future, and are very new to me.
On a good day I can decifer a pattern easily, and even put pieces together reasonably quick…but, I have a pack of children who draw from my ability to concentrate well enough to write in the really complex forms.
I am a self educating writer, so when I get a chance to study up and learn I do. I think your term ‘lucasing’ (being a touch of a geek) is perfect, but what writer doesn’t. Though, I do love the raw, ‘leave your soul on the floor’ style to free writing and free verse, without re-editing, as for me over thinking tends to draw me back into my shell.
Writing to form and still having it sound like my voice, and leaving my soul in it for others to see, is my most recent venture…my personal challenge and growth.
I look forward to reading and learning more from your ability to instruct via example or sharing what you know…very valuable to us under-educated writers and stay at home poets.
Hope you have a wonderful day David.
So very beautiful. Every time I get to revisit these is a gift.
Only you understand how completely fragmentary is my grasp of any experience in memory and so I delight in your understanding of my unique experience in finding the distinct point at which I find my mind alights and remembers. In this piece it was at this spot…
…where I had latched onto the words so fiercely that I sometimes said them over and over to myself in my mind and wondered where they came from. Yes, dear, I do get you confused with the other masters of the art just as I can sometimes not tell your compositions from Bach. I have, as you have said many times, a well trained ear…and you have a well trained talent or two!
I so enjoyed reading this again. It is a wonderful piece!
I am speechless…
There is so much I would tell you. I know I often make light of compliments–even from you. I often speak of your prejudice, which inadvertently slights your fine background and education I so often covet–and which I do not mean to do. If by whatever words I write, I bring you joy, if God has graced me with insight or even with luck…. I cannot but be thankful.
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