So quiet thou beside me; so austere
Dost thou confide thee, silently to sleep.
Angelic thou, delightful; though as clear
Dost thou alight believe thou safe to keep…
Thee well protected, do I; and so sweet
Thy dreaming true; mine angel wouldst appear.
And though thou art about me; so discrete
And so devoutly, shall I hold thee near…
And dearly do I wrap thee, my surround
I would enrapt, be to mine own replete.
Delight at once to hold thee and abound
That once untold, rejoice for thee complete…
And wound about thee tightly; and so deep,
Profound, and knightly… love thee; yet I weep….
This sonnet is part of a short sequence; click here to read it all:
The last line is almost like a haiku…
Thank you Bjorn. I am most unused to travel and am just now getting back to things. Apart from the rhythm of the piece my desire was to take the ‘volta’ or turn in a sonnet and see how far toward the end I could delay it. I have thought of a few scenarios wherein the volta is delayed until the very last syllable, but as yet haven’t atttempted to implement these. Perhaps… next April 1st!
I feel as though in another day or two I might be rested completely and back to normal. I am starting to feel that way, but I am still “dragging” a little, as they say.
Volta is so very integral part of haiku, so then I understand the last one. I wrote a terza rima sonnet the other day… Subject politics rather than lyrical.. but I thought about the volta very much when I wrote it. You should check out dVerse some time…. It’s a very nice community for poetry.
I look forward to doing so and exploring other such strange and wondrous new things when I am fully rested. I seem to feel much better this evening/morning, as I am up at 2am which is more normal for me! My trip involved a day schedule–even one which involves a twenty-four hour day, which is odd for me also.
I shall look for your new poem in a day or two when I get back to reading as well as writing.
And please do not feel the shameless self-promoter to provide me a link to a poem you mention. I love getting them, as it means I can just click over to something someone wants me to investigate.
I wrote this sonnet that I actually was quite happy with.
Terza Rima scheme and with a Volta in the 4th line from the end.
Terza Rima. I have tried/devised a number of tercet schemes. Not (I do not think, although I am not sure) one like this. Once again you expand my mind! Thank you. Truly!! You are continually either reminding me of things I had forgotten or introducing me to things I had not yet stumbled upon. How wonderful is this technology.
Lovely sound on your poem. So austere. I believe I understand its sentiments. My colleague here has more than once described you as the voice of reason.
I thought this was a better place to comment further because at least here I may correct my grammatical errors!
In the third line, is the word “gone” used as a gerund? Or is ‘a’ intended to be ‘and.’ Oddly, but not so oddly I think, it works and provokes thought either way. When I notice such things in your work, I marvel at how, almost without exception, both forms are effective. Perhaps it is your scientific mind : ) Still that does not speak to the much more inelegant messes that occur when I make such an error!
Also, ‘still’ with two L’s not one. What this tells me is how heartfelt this piece is. If you know what I mean.
I do not watch the news any longer, nor read it anywhere, therefore I heard of this event a few days after it occurred. You are, as my friend suggests, the voice of reason. Still, apart from us all being human beings, deep, deep, deep within the confines of my soul, I feel a warning, and a shudder, when someone suggests that victim and perpetrator are the same; in fact, these are not the same at all. Philosophically it is incorrect. In fact, I… you, also… are victims of this event, albeit much less deeply hurt. And two of many such victims.
Ones soul, or ones inner being, or ones reason, or all three seem to cry out in unison that this is a false idea. Therefore (although I, myself, am an atheist [though not an anti-theist]) here is the response from all three of mine:
I will send you two more links, however these might end up in your akismet filter.
Thank you for reading and in fact despite the many peopl
David thank you for reading with such a deep and keen analysis. First of all, the a should be an and.. Many people have read and reread the poem without noticing.
Secondly on the core of my thought (and I’m not religious myself) many of my thoughts comes from religion .. I’m not saying that perpetrator and victim are the same, I’m simply saying that we are all humans and as humans we have both good and evil within us. And to site the bible. Let the one without a sin cast the first stone.
I can also site a muslim friend stating that the secular humanism she sees in Sweden is much more Muslim than her home country.
It’s more the sentiment of revenge that abhors me…. actually more than the deeds itself as it opens up possibilities to even more killing, innocents or collateral damage as you might say. I will read your links later. But once again thank you. Of all my poetry this is the one I think goes deepest into the core of me.
Ah well, I do understand, of course. And I have naturally been given similar reassurances by similar acquaintances. And, naturally, as a scientist, just as you are, I give them all the consideration they warrant. And at this, I am quite sure, we have both been aptly judicious, although I, perhaps, just slightly less so. Perhaps then, we should leave it there then? Or up to God, as it were? : )
Here, is the second, and perhaps this is even more apropos:
And finally, this one:
All three, I think, do not belong in the sequence in which they are included. They most likely should be broken away and included in an ongoing sequence.
Hopefully these will get through. But… as I mentioned, they may end up in moderation or filtered.
Of course I had already forgotten I was commenting on my own site. So therefore no spam!! Clever of me. I know what to do now when I need to make sure a few links get through.
Hello there, I love your blog, so I nominated you for the one lovely blog award! http://thegreatzambini.com/2014/01/12/a-lovely-community/
This is most kind; however I do not accept awards of any kind. That some might enjoy, from time to time, my sonnets is all the recognition for which I could ever hope. Thanks again.
Well then, please continue to share your work with us, and I’ll be more than happy :)
Thank you. I will endeavour to do so. At times it takes more determination than at others.