Monthly Archives: November 2015

The slow pull of a whisper’s fade … « Flights of a Magical Bird

Posted by David Emeron on

Once again, this same message. I feel compelled to caution people against “peer” review. Perhaps I should not worry.

Now… just because you encourage “crit”, or perhaps anything else that with it might so rhyme, does not mean I must! However, in just this one case, I believe I will also “take the risk:” I must here state that–although it may well be true that “nobody is perfect”–I find your original to be far superior to the altered version suggested. And for two reasons which I will explain below.

Although Robert Browning suggested that it was the virtue of poetry to be obscure, and obfuscatory–and I am paraphrasing here, as is my wont in using grey matter rather than Google–it should be remembered that he was, in fact, joking when he made this assertion.

By this, I suggest that making ones meaning unascertainable is not an improvement, even if it improves, for example, the overall sound of a piece–which the suggested revision, also does not accomplish in any significant way.

I might have seen some reason in the suggestion perhaps of the removal of the indefinite article in the first line; however such would put the piece out of balance with the fourth line.

Also, the suggested revision does not trip as lightly off the tongue when read aloud, and, as well, causes the line breaks to become irrelevant, as a replacement for breath, punctuation, etc, and as an aid to reading–as well as mentation.

Also, as I’m fond of pointing out: Be careful what you encourage. If you are an aspiring writer, this logically implies that your peers have questionable credentials. (as well as intentions and motivations,though they may be genuine, the nature of which there are no ready means whereby you may easily ascertain these)

Qualified critics, include successful writers–successful in all ways–otherwise they engage in mere speculation, and–by virtue of the fact that they do write, and therefore, do read with an eye to writing–their view of what they read is necessarily, and predictably, skewed (and, I include myself in this category, as well)

But even more important–much much much more important–are readers who do not write, have no hidden aspirations to write, but just enjoy reading what one has written. Only they can give reliably unskewed information regarding what is clear (to them) or not, or what is beautiful (to them) or not; and, unless you intend your audience to be among aspiring writers alone, this is very, very important information.

You have, I feel, an enviable gift with words, Take great care, lest you allow it to be watered down, diluted by those whose intentions, and abilities, and in fact, identities, you cannot know.

via The slow pull of a whisper’s fade … « Flights of a Magical Bird.

 

Female Sensuality from…

Posted by David Emeron on

…a male perspective, of course–although It might be quite instructive to attempt to write about it from a female perspective, as well as male sensuality therefrom–is more difficult emotionally for me than male.  Male sensuality I may view as an art form, however my emotions are so wrapped up in my love it is most difficult for me to do so for the female.

This is why I believe I shall only write one of the sensuality series every other day or so.  While it is not structurally or metaphorically difficult for me–any more so than any other worthy topic, it does take its toll emotionally.  I think a growing boy like me needs his rest!  So therefore look to my coming at first light on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the East, and all that. Hopefully these will be more frequent than every five days.

In The Barbwire Embrace Of A Wanton Muse | mishaburnett

Posted by David Emeron on

One doesn’t expect to find a kindred spirit in a place such as this–or a kindred mind, or even a kindred body….

Hmmm. Does that not sound like a good first sentence to an intriguing story? The fact is I can’t help it. Nor can you.

AR, with whom, wonder of wonders, I now know you to be familiar, wrote an intriguing story once. Very short. I believe it was called “The simplest thing in the world,” however I’m not positive, because, once again, I’m not relying on Google, but simply on good old fashioned grey matter. You might dig it up. It … pertains.

In any case, I do feel a pathos for you, as a man and as a writer. I have come to terms with writing, at this late date. I have spent so much time NOT doing it. Decidedly not. Doggedly, deterministically not.

But enough about me. I will say, that the fact that A is A, is significant in this instance. Because writing science fiction, or fantasy, or whatever genre you may pick, is simply a learned skill. I have read all of the authors you have mentioned–at least the ones in the Hard SF category–though not so much the others. As a result, my head is so stuffed full of it, that SF literally flies off my fingers, Although I also have a background in the sciences which also adds to the brain stuffing effect. My point is, there is no such thing as being “meant” to write a certain thing.

And when someone who subscribes to objective reality and even Romantic Realism, as do I, one must eventually come to terms with that fact: That there is nothing possible that one cannot do, only that thing, the doing of which has not yet been mastered. It is as simple as that. Write what you love, and love what you write.

I’m, going to go way out on a limb here, one guy to another: So far out, that you might not ever speak to me again. Really.. I’ll end up crying by the phone like a 13 year old girl, and everything. But here goes:

Sometimes what you need, is, in fact a dose of science. Quite literally. Perhaps 100mg Welbutrin SR, to start with. Believe me, I have done so when necessary, and its funny how, all the problems I thought I had, suddenly reveal themselves as being made of nothing. Entirely without substance. And then, I can simply go back to doing what I love, or what I want, or what, perhaps, I need to do to pay the bills. Take your pick. I have a sense that depression might be at the heart of your problem. It is nothing to be ashamed of. All the best writers have it!!

But there are legitimate reasons to feel bad, like when something bad happens, but only for a little while. When you feel bad all the time, or a lot of the time, or you think that things are generally hopeless, that’s your clue that you are not being realistic.

Plus, while it may be true that “people” like one thing you write and not another, it is also true that those same people are very likely to not like both soft fantasy and hard SF. I can only tolerate a modicum of Soft fiction. I like my SF hard, and well turned out, (like my men–I couldn’t help writing that, sorry, shades of “Airplane,” the movie) Seriously though, soft SF, ala Ellison, and even softer fantasy, makes me go–well,,, dare I say, soft?

True, a good story is a good story, and I agree with that because, after all, A is, in fact, A. However all genre writing, particularity to a good writer, WHICH YOU ARE IN SPADES! is a simple matter of mastering the “chops.” Mystery, Romance, Spy. Revenge. Techno-thriller, whatever.

So master them. If it is really true that your Kings and Queens are better than your Hyperdrive pilots, just master the chops. And, I’m not sure I’d agree with your assertion, having read Catskinner. In fact, if there were some kind of “Breath of Fresh Air” award, or “Not the Same Tired Old Crap” award, I’d nominate you for both (my wife is a literature nerd and even she agrees, and believe me, she can be very, very picky) if it were within my power to do so. As a big “O” myself, I have no interest in awards personally. Just like, you know who.

Master the chops you want. Take a happy pill if you genuinely need one. Believe me, I have. I also take a tiny pill for ADD, which, if I don’t, four hours turn into less than one hour, and of course, the amazing reverse of that, when I do take it. Which, since I’m not out of my ^&$%# mind with stupidity, I do.

Not everyone’s brain is normal or neuro-typical, particularly, not that of a writer. Probably has to do with the peculiar brand of feedback loops in our brains. I’m not sure. I just know many writers, read about many many more. and that fact seems self evident.

Very well. I shall now turn the testosterone back down to its normal level….

And all this just because I would like to make sure I will be able to read those 6 or 8 sequel, to which I refereed some time ago. I think also, I know the perfect person to give your first book–in hard-cover–to for Christmas.

Oh my is my list so very long this year.

In any event, becoming proficient at anything is simply a matter of work. I have written sonnets here and there for most of my life; however, writing one or more every day has changed my understanding of them forever. I can’t imagine what will happen to that understanding after I have done so for a year or two, or three. I don’t claim they are masterpieces, but I do claim I enjoy writing them ever more.  And that I attack them with greater and greater enthusiasm–even when I don’t feel like writing one–sometimes I think those turn out the for the better, although I don’t have an explanation for that phenomenon. Also, doing so has, to use a common, though rather sloppy, turn of phrase, “Informed” my other, writing. Of which, also inexplicably, I am able to do more, ever since I have so yoked myself.

I also believe that it is very necessary, my good man, for those of us who do, in fact, subscribe to objective reality, to make an “End Run” around those who don’t. If we don’t. I fear our world is doomed.

via In The Barbwire Embrace Of A Wanton Muse | mishaburnett.

entangled-in-paradox….

Posted by David Emeron on

I believe the poem which inspired this comment of mine to have a very dark message. Perhaps deconstructionist, perhaps marxist, perhaps even nihilistic. [though its author assures me not]

Some things pain me to read; because I know such things, such realities, seem true–and perhaps are true for many, at least in the present. And, although they may seem so; still, one should not proclaim such conditions, such realities to be changeless. No such condition is set in stone. Quite often our prison is of our own making; not bars set by our circumstances, but by those we construct by virtue of the way we think about them–the way in which we frame them in our minds.

This, perhaps, is too dark for me, I’m not sure I understand its message; However, I do know that I cannot exist–not in the same way, or in the same universe–without my truest love.  I wonder, when I read such as this, if the author knows little else but hurt, and pain.

I would want to tell such a young man–or a young lady–that he should Know that it is not that way for everyone.  If one claims it is so, then one tells a lie, and a very evil one at that, though perhaps, not intentionally.

There is great joy everywhere; and great joy in our mothers and our fathers, our sisters and our brothers, our husbands and our wives, our sons and our daughters.  So very many of us, do not break them apart, but hold them together, keep them, as may many of them keep us, from breaking apart.

In this way am I kept.  In this way, does my life have all the more meaning.

via entangledinparadox.

I thought up another: form of rhymescheme notation, and alternate of sonnet form….

Posted by David Emeron on

The following is paraphrased as well as copy/pasted from the entry in question–see the link below for the original (which, by this time, may well have been lucased)

I came upon an old, unpolished work of mine. Not exactly in this form, but in tetrameter Originally there were 4 quatrains. The original rhymescheme was AAxA, BBxB, etc. where ‘x’ is non rhyming. I thought one could sonnetize that by Turning the non-rhyming ‘x’ into a rhyme that carries through. This was an interesting result:

At last, the dawn, in perfect form, I see
So formed, a positive reality.
It’s purple state, in perfect choir, unveil
To shine, inspiringly, its song on me.

With form, and measure never void, it brings
A subtle mastery of the world it sings.
Without abash, I hear it tell a tale
Of majesty, and many more such things

Which burn with glory’s power, as they shine
Upon this shadow dappled world of mine.
My dreams are splendour, as they dance–prevail
With measure, and with form, and perfect line!

And dance I shall, as light–as mirrors bright
Reflect–avail, ’til dark, ’til death, ’til night!

Once again, you see the compressed rhyme scheme in the ending couplet.  I may post the original at some point; and I may post the altered sixteen line version, which is in iambic pentameter.

Also, on that note, I am beginning to think that, in order to more clearly describe rhymeschemes, one might perhaps use letters and numbers, or perhaps, upper and lower case letters, for different types of rhymes. And perhaps, ‘x’ might indicate lines that do not rhyme?

As an example, to describe the above, one could do the following:

AA1A, BB1B, etc. Or perhaps 11A1, 22A2, etc. Thus, one draws a distinction between the two types of rhymes–-as “ephemeral,” or immortal, or perhaps even better called, “perpetual.”

As such, one can clearly see delineated such rhymes which only last a short time, with those which carry through an entire piece, or, as may be the case, a larger part of a much larger piece.

It makes more sense to me when I look at it. What one usually sees would be AABA, CCBA, etc, but where “A” feels like a “first rhyme” “C” really feels like a “second” (or a B) but, in this kind of numbering, “C” generally means “3″ which makes the notation confusing, and one has to think about it a bit more, to decipher.

And as I think of it more, I think the appropriate version of the above would be:

AA1A, BB1B, etc.

This is because, while it is highly unlikely that there would be a large number of ephemeral rhymes, or at least those for which the alphabet could not be recycled, there could potentially be–in a very long piece–any number of perpetual rhymes.  And using the lowercase ‘x’ makes sense for non rhyming lines as well.

And a compressed scheme (or lines with internal rhymes such as the final couplet here could be in brackets of some kind.  For this, I have generally been using square brackets. This would give the above sonnet as:

AA1A,  BB1B,  CC1C,  [DD][1D]

via Sonnet: | David Emeron: Sonnets.