Sonnet: Shrug

Posted by David Emeron on

If Atlas’ Eyes were burning from our stain
Of  festering foul collectivization;
Shrieking of our dehumanization,
Bloody streamt His Ears with piercing pain;

His Arms, and Knees, and Shoulders, bled with strain
With the weight of our dying population;
Retching! from the stench of our starvation;
Weakening Resolve! at our disdain

For men who build; who might, His Burden, ease.
So, would ye dare to task Him; “Hold Thou, Muse!
One moment more, ’til we depose these smug,

“Self-righteous beasts!  No more! shall we appease
Esurience’s philanthropic ruse!”?
Or fear our thousand-years, and bid Him “Shrug!”?

7 responses to “Sonnet: Shrug”

    • I just realized that I had not entered this as a reply, so here it is, reposted as such:

      That’s a very classical line, I mean in style. When using polysyllabic words, you will often see that form in sonnets written by great writers. All iambic and large words, particularly in that order: 5, 4, 1

      Esurience is a word that is not in all dictionaries, but it is a particularly powerful one. Rapaciously, ravenously, glutinously, greedy.

      I’m not entirely happy with the result here, however it does get the point across. In retrospect, I believe I should have limited my “-ation” words to 4 syllables or less for rhythmic concerns.

      I’ve just revisited it for a particular purpose, and now think it merits more attention. But not, I fear, this day.

      Like

    • I finally got around to bit of streamlining in this one, although I left the long “-ation” words….

      And “streamt” is not in the dictionary; only “streamed;” but I like the sound of the former : )

      As well, the syllabic count is correct now although I do carry and borrow as in arithmetic.

      Like

    • Indeed it would, Sir. I have myself indulged in such fantasies. I have imagined reaching into the past and greedily bringing people of note “back to the future” ™ with me. I have a story about this somewhere on a back burner, so to speak, involving bringing Ben Franklin and Co. forward in time and letting them play in the present time. I think there would be much fun–as well as emotions and events far more ominous.

      Like

Insults Make Me Happy: