He sung of Sisters close and sweet; and taught
Of sea and wealth; he droned a mournful view
Of Death as fine as Death himself. He brought
A smile to my lips when all they knew
Was fear; and to a barren cheek he drew
The first and only tear. A place, he claimed,
Of no return, that no man ever knew;
A quickly fleeting image, And he named
It “Xanadu;” he dreamt a man beyond
A man within that Sunny Dome; An he
Should Drink of Paradise that dream had spawned
His home. I know he must have lived to see
Those Crystal Caves of Ice; For I, enticed
By Honey Dew, have drunk of Paradise.
Bravo!!
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writing a beautiful sonnet is really tough. its a beautiful one.
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Thank you. There is more about this sonnet in the sonnet blog area. This is an ode in 5 heptameter couplets, adapted to the sonnet form as both have 140 syllables. The original rhyming words are preserved and a Shakespearian rhyme scheme–because it is the least demanding of the form–has been added to the 14 lines of pentameter.
There is, on October 8th, I believe, an ode-contained-inside-a-sonnet of similar construction that uses an Italian rhyme scheme.
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Not only do I have the pleasure of reading a beautiful creation, I get the privilege to learn about it. Do the technical aspects lessen the impact of the beauty? Not one whit. I re-read with a deeper appreciation.
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May I take it then that you followed the “related” links? If so, I am pleased I did not bore you : )
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Nope. Not bored at all. A friend told me once that if I lived in another universe, I’d be s mage because of my insatiable curiosity.T he day I stop learning is probably the day my ashes are scattered and probably not even then.
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…from one nerd to another : )
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Hi David, it’s been a while since i last visited your blog.. your sonnets have continued to evolve I see.. I like the tone in this one a lot, modern yet with such clear connection to the classic way.. myself have been experimenting with all kind of forms and free verse.
One thing I really would like is to evolve the sonnet form in modern ways, it has the perfect length, once you get into the pentameter swing it’s really fun. One thing that I learned from Samuel Peralta is to use it in the form of a 7 ghazal form.. the rhyme disappearing into that refrain, and the individual ghazal can still be acting on themselves.
I did one for the new-year that I think worked out well:
https://brudberg.wordpress.com/2015/01/01/catch-its-silver-in-the-sieves/
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I greatly enjoyed your sonnet. I do love repeated figures of all kinds. The above sonnet was an experiment in 10 – 14 transformation–all about the prime factors, my good man!
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